happy place{s}

Prayer for Anxiety

O Lord of hosts, calm my anxious heart.  In Your love and concern for the salvation of my soul, bring to mind Your loving kindness and grant me Your strength to block out every thought or feeling that does not bring glory to You.  Teach me to keep my mind in the present that I may meditate upon Your goodness whenever I am assaulted by anxious thoughts.  If I may not be freed from the anxiety plaguing me, let me continue to work out my salvation, and allow me to know your peace and trust you for each step heavenward.  Amen.

From The Ascetic Lives of Mothers by Annalisa Boyd

I’ve had a lot of anxious sleepless nights this year.  Between all of our activities, some minor health issues, and some major life changes, I wasn’t paying attention to my self-care.  I was drinking coffee to keep myself awake after angst-filled sleepless nights, and I was jittery and sleepless because I’d had too much caffeine.  It was a vicious cycle, filled with lots of prayers and tears!  Finally, I made the connection:  my body does not tolerate caffeine at all like it used to.  Even one cup of decaf black tea after noon messes with my circadian rhythms, which is a shame.  I really love coffee and tea.  The good news is that I have been enjoying lots of chamomile tea blends lately.  My husband calls it my twig juice.  No matter what name you call it, the tea is soothing and refreshing.

Daily walks have been immensely helpful, too.  Usually I go early, before everyone has woken up, and breathe the cool morning air in relative silence.  There are a lot of animals awake, though.  The other morning a skunk scampered under a car just up the block, and a few minutes later I watched a fox slink behind a house.  It’s surprising to see them, given how very urban our area is.  Last year we had a mama fox and her kits living in an abandoned ground hog hole under our shed.  Since our area was rural, it was more of a delight than a surprise.  The kits used to wander into the fenced portion of our yard, causing shouts of "Mama, Mama!  There’s a fox in the yard!"

This week there were a couple of days that I just couldn’t face walking at 6 am, so I decided to take he kids to two of our very favorite places.  The first is nearby, and the other is about an hour away, closer to where we used to live.  Being in both of those places did wonders for us all!  We saw some blooming milkweed, which seems a bit early to me?  (The plants that I thought were milkweed and rescued from our side yard are not milkweed.  They're dogbane.)  My son also spotted our first prothonotary warbler, as in he knew exactly what he was looking at and called our attention to it.  I didn't believe him until we played the warbler's song on my handy dandy Cornell Bird App.  But he was right!

The past few evenings, I have spent in front of my sewing machine, working on some summer wardrobe items for little Miss M.  I’m a much better knitter than seamstress, but there’s something about sewing that requires mindfulness more than knitting does.  I won’t call it relaxing, but...maybe satisfying is a better word?  Little M is so pleased with the results: "Did you make that dress? For me?"  She wanted to wear the first dress before I had a chance to sew on the buttons.  She sat on my lap to help sew up the skirt of the second, and specified that she wanted sleeves on it.  Short sleeves.  What a relief that I had enough fabric for sleeves!  The third dress is in double gauze, and I’m a little nervous about how it will come together.  

My current knitting projects are still occupying some of my knitting time.  Whenever Little M asks me to read her a story, she tells me to go get my knitting so I can knit while I read to her.  She’s so considerate.  Thanks to her, I’m getting the body of my Arwen sweater done.  I love planning projects almost as much as I loved bringing them into being.  Baby gift knitting tops my list of happy things, and I’ve got a couple of gifts in the works.

I finally had time last weekend to visit he produce shop a friend recommended.  The fruits and veggies were inexpensive and delicious, but the herbs and flowers are what will make me a repeat customer.  I picked up a huge bunch of peonies, and we are still enjoying them almost a week later.  Fresh flowers are a definite weakness of mine.  I don’t get them more than once a month, but they make the whole house seem fresh.